How to improve your influencing skills for better leadership

In the modern workplace, influencing skills are an essential cornerstone of successful leadership and collaboration. But why is influence at work needed? My blog post this week takes a closer look into the essence of influence, uncovering its role in creating successful outcomes, driving innovation, and Influence at work is not about being the loudest person in the room.

It is not about pushing people into agreement, using a job title to get your own way or dressing up persuasion as pressure.

Real influence is much more human than that. It is the ability to communicate in a way that builds trust, creates understanding and helps people move towards a shared outcome.

And that matters, because very little gets done at work by one person alone.

Managers need influence when they are leading change.
Colleagues need influence when they are trying to get support for an idea.
Salespeople need influence when they are helping customers make decisions.
Teams need influence when they are working through disagreement, uncertainty or different priorities.

Influence sits right at the heart of communication, collaboration and leadership.

Influence is built on trust, not position

Some people confuse influence with authority.

Authority may get someone to comply in the moment. Influence is what helps people commit.

There is a big difference.

A manager can tell someone what to do. That might get the task completed. But if the person does not understand the reason, feel heard or trust the intention behind the message, they may do the minimum, resist quietly or disengage.

Influence works differently. It creates buy-in because people feel included, respected and part of the conversation.

That does not mean everyone has to agree with everything. It means people are more likely to listen, contribute and take action because the communication feels credible and respectful.

Influential people listen before they persuade

One of the most overlooked parts of influence is listening.

Many people try to influence by talking more. They explain, justify, repeat themselves or add more evidence. Sometimes that helps. Often, it does not.

If someone feels unheard, more talking can make them dig in deeper.

Influential communicators slow down. They ask questions. They listen for what matters to the other person. They notice concerns, assumptions and emotions. Then they shape the conversation around what they have understood.

That is why influence is not just a presentation skill or a sales skill. It is a human skill.

People are far more open to being influenced when they feel understood first.

Influence helps teams collaborate

Collaboration sounds lovely until people actually have to do it.

Different personalities, priorities, pressures and working styles can quickly turn collaboration into confusion or frustration.

Influence helps teams work through that.

It gives people the confidence to speak up, challenge respectfully, offer ideas and bring others with them. It also helps teams move away from blame and towards shared responsibility.

In a healthy team, influence does not sit with one person. It moves around the group. People listen to each other, build on ideas and are willing to be changed by what they hear.

That kind of collaboration does not happen by accident. It comes from communication habits that create trust.

Influence matters during change

Change often fails because people have not been properly brought into the conversation.

They may understand what is changing, but not why. They may hear the message, but not feel involved. They may nod in the meeting, then carry on doing what they have always done.

Influence helps leaders and teams make change feel less like something being done to people and more like something they can take part in.

That takes honesty, empathy and clear communication.

People need space to ask questions, raise concerns and understand what the change means for them. They also need leaders who can explain direction without pretending everything is easy.

Influence during change is not about forcing enthusiasm. It is about helping people make sense of what is happening and take the next step.

Influence can be developed

Some people seem naturally influential, but influence is not just a personality trait.

It can be developed through self-awareness, practice and feedback.

People can learn how to communicate with more confidence. They can learn how to read a room, ask better questions, listen properly and explain ideas in a way that lands. They can also learn when they are pushing too hard, avoiding the real conversation or assuming everyone sees things the same way they do.

This is where experiential learning makes a real difference.

You cannot become more influential by reading a list of techniques and hoping they work under pressure. Influence improves when people practise real workplace conversations, receive feedback and reflect on their impact.

At DSTC, influence development is practical, human and behaviour-focused. It helps people understand not only what they say, but how they are experienced by others.

Self-coaching reflection

Think about a situation where you need to influence someone at work.

Ask yourself:

Have I listened properly to their concerns?

Am I trying to persuade before I have understood?

What matters to them in this situation?

Where might trust be weak?

What outcome do we both need to move towards?

One small action

Before your next influencing conversation, ask one question before you make your point:

“What matters most to you about this?”

Then listen properly to the answer.

It may change the whole conversation.

Want to go deeper?

If people in your organisation need to influence more effectively, it may be a sign they need support with communication, confidence and self-awareness.

Start with the Leadership Communication Questionnaire to reflect on how clearly people communicate, listen, build trust and bring others with them.

DSTC helps people develop influence through practical, experiential workshops that focus on real conversations, not scripts or clever tricks. The aim is to help people influence with honesty, confidence and respect.

Suggested next steps:

Take the Leadership Communication Questionnaire
Use the questionnaire to reflect on communication habits, trust and leadership impact.

Related Workshops

Our Actors Your Facilitator
Brings influencing conversations to life through realistic practice, role-play and feedback.

Communication & Self-Awareness
Helps people understand their communication style, assumptions and impact so they can influence with more confidence and awareness.

Management & Leadership
Supports managers and leaders to communicate clearly, build trust and bring people with them.